Acknowledgments xxi
Conclusion xxv
1 What the Facilitator Needs to Know 1
Introduction 1
Why This Curriculum 1
Values- based Paradigm 3
A Trauma- informed Men's Curriculum 4
Male Socialization and Trauma 10
It's Not Trauma 11
Toxic Water and Traumatic Stigmatization 13
Healing Men's Trauma 13
Conscious Masculinity 14
2 Facilitating the Program 15
Introduction 15
Toxic Water 15
Supporting Conscious Masculinity 17
Considerations for Facilitators 17
The Healing Journey for Facilitators 21
Surface- to- Depth Approach 22
Five Relational Postures 23
Creating and Maintaining a Safe Container 24
Facilitator Self- care 26
Supervision 26
Fidelity to the Curriculum 27
Facilitator Notes and Suggested Dialogue 28
Timing 28
Check- in 29
Breathing Exercise 29
Grounding/Resourcing Exercises 29
Lectures 30
Interactive Lectures 30
Small Group Breakouts 30
Activities 31
Debriefing 31
Check- out 31
Follow- up and Close 31
The Narrative Session Section 32
The Workbook 33
Considerations for Participants 34
Considerations for Organizations 35
Conclusion 37
References 39
Session 1: Grounding and Safety 41
Session Overview 41
Introductions 42
Read Selected Meditation 43
Session Goals 44
Orientation to the Group, Distribution of Workbooks, and Group Agreements 44
Interactive Lecture: Trauma, Wounds, and What Is Healing? 49
The Safety Dance: Triggers and Being Triggered 49
Debriefing 50
Grounding and Safety Exercises 51
Exploring Your Story Activity 54
What Do You Want to Get Out of This Group? 55
Follow- up and Close 57
Session 2: The Man Rules: Don't Let the Rules, Rule You 59
Session Overview 59
The Check- in 61
Getting Grounded Exercise 61
Resourcing 62
The Safety Check 63
Read Selected Meditation 64
Session Goals 64
Mini Lecture: The Water 64
The Man Rules 66
What Does It Mean to Be on a Healing Journey? 70
Small Group Discussions 71
Grounding, Resourcing, and Safety Check 73
Grounding Exercise 73
The Safety Check 74
Session 3: Toxic Water 77
Session Overview 77
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 79
Getting Grounded Exercise 79
Resourcing 80
The Safety Check 81
Read Selected Meditation 81
Session Goals 81
Mini Lecture: The Toxins in The Water 82
Small Group Activity and Discussion - Walking in the Shoes of Another 87
Large Group Discussion 88
Grounding, Resourcing, and Safety Check 90
The Check- out 91
Follow- up and Close 91
For Facilitators: Prompts for Shoes of Another Exercise 92
Session 4: Creating Healthy Relationships 93
Session Overview 93
The Check- in and Exercise Review 94
Getting Grounded Exercise 95
Resourcing 95
The Safety Check 96
Read Selected Meditation 97
Session Goals 97
Interactive Lecture: The Woman Rules 98
Interactive Lecture: Healthy Relationships 99
Outside- Inside - Small Group Discussions 103
Creative Activity: Men Inside and Out 105
Sharing of Boxes 106
The Check- out 106
Follow- up and Close 107
Session 5: Trauma: Facing Our Wounds 109
Session Overview 109
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 110
Interactive Lecture: Part 1 - Overview of Trauma 113
Interactive Lecture: Part 2 - Shame, Trauma, and The Man Rules 116
Kinesthetic/Psychodrama 118
Small Group Discussion - Examining Our Experience 122
The Check- out 123
Exercise: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn 124
Definition of Trauma 125
Session 6: All in The Family 127
Session Overview 127
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 128
Interactive Mini Lecture: Defining Healthy and Unhealthy Family Systems 131
Family Systems, Trauma, and the Healing Journey 133
The Check- out 136
Follow- up Exercises 137
Session 7: Beneath the Surface 139
Session Overview 139
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 140
New Exercise - Progressive Muscle Relaxation 142
Interactive Lecture: More Than Words/More Than a Feeling 145
Creative Activity: Beneath The Surface Collage 150
Creative Activity: Beneath The Surface Collage Small Group Discussion 151
The Check- out 152
Follow- up Exercises 154
Anger Funnel Exercise 154
The Anger Funnel Diagram 155
Beneath The Surface Collage 155
Session 8: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Attachment 157
Session Overview 157
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 158
Progressive Muscle Relaxation 159
The Safety Check with Spectrogram Activity 160
Mini Lecture: On Attachment 162
Interactive Lecture: Identifying Primary Attachment Styles 164
Kinesthetic Activity: Five Relational Positions 166
Small Group Discussion 170
The Check- out 172
Follow- up Exercise 173
Session 9: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Safety 175
Session Overview 175
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 176
Small Group Exercise: Feelings and Triggers 179
Interactive Lecture and Role Play: The Man Rules and Relational Intimacy Dichotomy 181
Mini Lecture: More on Safety 188
The Safety Pledge 189
The Check- out 190
Session 10: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Violence 193
Session Overview 193
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 194
Interactive Lecture: Abuse, Violence, Trauma, and Intimacy 197
Small Group Discussion 201
A Place of Peace: Relaxation and Visualization 203
Kinesthetic Activity: Movement and Music 205
The Check- out 205
Exercise 207
Responsibility Commitment 207
Stand For Peace 208
Session 11: The Man Rules, Intimacy, and Sex 209
Session Overview 209
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 210
Interactive Lecture: Sex, The Man Rules, and Violence 213
Small Group Exercise: Messages Matter 215
Kinesthetic Activity: Walk The Line 217
Healthy Sexuality 217
The Check- out 218
Grounded Exercise 218
Exercise and Close 219
Session 12: Growing Through Grief and Loss 221
Session Overview 221
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 222
Progressive Muscle Relaxation 223
Developing Awareness of Grief and Loss 225
Collage Activity 228
Large Group Discussion 229
Small Group Discussion: Grief and Loss Through Safety and Love 230
Mini Lecture and Activity: Spirituality - Relationships and Forgiveness 231
The Check- out 233
Exercise and Close 234
Session 13: Post- traumatic Growth and Resilience 235
Session Overview 235
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 236
Mini Lecture and Creative Activity: Post- traumatic Growth 239
Mini- lecture and Large Group Discussion: Resilience and Masculinity 242
Small Group Discussion: Recognizing Resilience 245
The Check- out 246
Exercise and Close 247
Session 14: Breathing Under Water 249
Session Overview 249
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 250
Interactive Large Group Discussion: Revisiting The Man You Want Be 253
Small Group Discussion - The Man You Want To Be 255
Integration Small Group Activity 256
Come Together - Processing Small Group Discussions 256
The Check- out 257
Exercise and Close 258
Narrative Prep Section 259
Session 15: Writing Our Story 261
Session Overview 261
The Check- in and Assignment Rewind 262
Writing Our Story: The Power of Narratives and Healing Men's Pain 265
Writing Our Story: Beginning the Outline 267
Activity: Motion and Emotion 268
Small Group Discussion: Sharing Your Outline 269
Writing Our Story: Continue Drafting Outlines 270
The Check- out 270
Exercise and Close 272
Session 16: Deconstructing Our Story 273
Session Overview 273
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 274
Deconstructing Our Story: Exploring Our Narratives and Healing Men's Pain 277
Large Group Discussion: Exploring Your Story 279
Activity: Full Body Shake Up 280
The Check- out 280
Exercise and Close 282
Session 17: Reframing the Narrative: From Boys to Men 283
Session Overview 283
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 285
The Man Rules - Revisited 288
Small Group Discussion: The Man Rules Revisited 288
Break with Activity: Music and Movement 290
Small Group Discussion: Creating A Vision - The Man You Want To Be 290
The Check- out 291
Session 18: Framing a Healing Journey 295
Session Overview 295
The Check- in and Exercise Rewind 296
Letters to The Editor - Messages of Resilience and Hope 299
Grounding: Coming Home Visualization 300
Music and Movement 301
Integrating Our Stories 301
The Man You Want to Be 302
Exercise and Close 304
