The Maria Paradox How Latinas Can Merge Old World Traditions with New World Self-Esteem

“Gil and Vazquez are psychotherapists based in New York City, with largely Latina clienteles. Case histories drawn from their private practices enliven a unique self-help guide for Hispanic women and the men who love them. Reinforcing traditional machismo, the authors declare, is marianismo, a centuries-old belief system that in effect tells Latinas: ‘Don’t forget a woman’s subservient place; never put your own needs first; don’t wish for more in life than being a housewife; sex is for making babies.’ Filled with self-help exercises, their clearly written manual, designed to help Latinas enter mainstream American culture with enhanced self-esteem, offers practical advice on how to build support networks, overcome passivity, forge career paths, change or get out of abusive relationships and increase sexual fulfillment.” —Publishers Weekly
 
“Written by two Latina psychotherapists, The Maria Paradox sympathetically describes the social pressures and psychological barriers that curtail the personal freedom and professional advancement of many Hispanic women. The book explores the cultural basis of marianismo, which, as the opposite of machismo, defines the traditional roles assigned to Hispanic women in a patriarchal society. Case studies drawn from the authors’ practice illustrate emotional conflicts that can arise from attempts to integrate the demands of two different and often conflicting cultures. Each chapter addresses specific issues facing Latinas, who often lack the assertiveness to cope effectively with extended family duties, sexist child-rearing practices, a partner’s physical or emotional abuse, and generally restrictive modes of sexual and personal expression. The final chapters deal with choosing a therapist and suggest appropriate change and empowerment strategies. This valuable self-help guide deserves a place in all libraries serving Hispanic populations.” —Library Journal
 
“The Maria Paradox is a special book. It is special because it combines a self-help approach, social psychological concepts, a carefully crafted feminism, and feelings about intimacy and caring into an easy-to-read format. The main thrust of the book is that most Latinas persistently attempt to order their lives in terms of a traditional schema represented by the ideal of marianismo. However, this traditional feminine orientation clashes with newer rules and conditions about women in the United States, causing despair and dysphoria in women caught between two ways of living. Each of the main problems is described as a prototypical clinical case representative of women that the authors have seen in their private practices. Compromise between the old and new is advocated, but there is a definite emphasis on progress toward incorporating newer feminist images and patterns of behavior as a path toward empowerment.” —Joan D. Koss, psychologist